


An Angel of the Lord Appears

by merellia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Dean Winchester, Bottom Sam Winchester, M/M, Multiverse, Omega Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, crackfic, n+1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 15:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18236867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merellia/pseuds/merellia
Summary: An angel of the Lord appears unto Samuel, son of John.“Be not—”Sam shoots.





	An Angel of the Lord Appears

 

An angel of the Lord appears unto Samuel, son of John.

“Be not—”

Sam shoots.

. . .

An hour later, Gabriel straightens, glaring at Sam as he helps the first angel, still shaking his head groggily, to his feet. A fine tremor shivers through him, and a few black feathers drift to the ground.

“What?” Sam snaps. He gestures at the second angel, “I thought he was a demon! Look at his wings!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the Lord appears, haloed in golden light.

Sam squints his eyes against the glare, then gapes. “Dean?” 

Dean points a finger gun, “Got it in one, dude.”

“But you—Castiel—did Cas—”

It’s hard to tell against the glare, but Dean might blush. He certainly drops his eyes. “Uhhh, yeah. Cas.”

“But what—”

Dean looks up, incredulous, but Sam flounders on. Dean scrubs his hands through his hair, and heaves a sigh. “I didn’t think I’d have to explain it to you, Sammy,” he drawls, “but when an angel alpha loves a human omega very, very much—”

“Gross!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the Lord appears. “Behold!”

Sam groans, hitting mute on the television. “Oh, no. Please don’t tell me I’m pregnant.”

Shocked into silence, the angel pauses. She eyes Sam warily, as if Sam is the issue here. “Thou art a _son_ of Adam—”

“No way! Narnia is real?”

Now the angel is definitely looking at Sam like he’s crazy. “I know not this Narnia of which thou speaketh, but I bring thee tidings of great joy.”

Sam says skeptically, “And you’re sure I’m not pregnant? Because that’s exactly what the angel Gabriel said to Mary, and _she_ was pregnant.”

The angel’s eyebrows draw together. “Thou doth misquote; his words were otherwise. If thou wouldst but let me share thy message with thee—”

“Okay, okay,” Sam says. The angel opens her mouth, only for Sam to add, “But can you, like, speak modern English? Because I don’t know about you, but, man, this is giving me major King James vibes, and you know that’s when there are burnings and witch huntings just around the corner, so please don’t.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the lord appears. “Behold—”

“—my field of fucks, and see that it is barren,” Sam says smartly. “I once bought that in cross-stitch for Dean from Etsy, but he called me a girl.” He sighs. “Dean can be pretty misogynistic. Anyone can cross-stitch.”

The angel scowls at him. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the Lord appears unto Sam.

Sam gestures frantically, “Move to the side, move, move move!”

The angel, eyes wide, jerks to the right, twisting to look over his shoulder. Behind him, its images glowing brightly in the dim light of the hotel room, there is only a television.

At which Sam is fixedly staring, “Go, go, go, go—YES! Goooooooooooooal!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the lord appears, takes in sight of the energetic activity on the bed, and turns bright red. “I shall return later,” it announces, and disappears.

“What?” Sam blurts, craning up to look over Dean’s shoulder. Dean shifts, and Sam gasps, “No don’t stop!” Dean glances down at him, smirks, and flexes his hips. Sam falls back against the pillows with a moan of pleasure.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the Lord appears.

Sam drops the remote control, which clatters to the motel room floor. “ _Dad_?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the Lord appears, and immediately coughs at the haze filling the room.

Sam blinks at him. “Hey, Cas.” Relaxed and amused, he smiles. “Sorry about that.” 

He holds out a joint, an almost-empty bag of party-size chips crinkling as he shifts. “The smoke’ll bother you less if you have some.”

Castiel reaches for the blunt.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel of the Lord appears.

Dean looks around, though he doesn’t drop his hands from Castiel’s face, and rolls his eyes. “Cute costume, Sammy. Congrats, you’ll win the Halloween ball. Now buzz off, me’n Cas are having some private time.”

“But I—”

“If it’s not the apocalypse, it can wait, Sam. Skedaddle!”

“Actually . . .”

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for the first, and couldn't resist writing the rest. I hope you enjoyed the funny! Comments much appreciated. :D Which one surprised you or made you laugh the most?


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